{"id":9427,"date":"2021-05-21T16:30:00","date_gmt":"2021-05-21T14:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/?p=9427"},"modified":"2024-10-03T16:42:23","modified_gmt":"2024-10-03T14:42:23","slug":"secure-attachment-style-infants","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/blog\/secure-attachment-style-infants\/","title":{"rendered":"How a Secure Attachment Style Develops in Your Baby"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>A <a href=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/blog\/secure-attachment\/\">secure attachment<\/a> style forms through a special type of bond between children and their caregivers. Through the way that their caregivers met their needs, a child forms expectations about their world and the people in it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This outlook has a significant impact on many other areas of the child\u2019s life; from how willing they are to explore their environment, to how they socialize with other children and adults, and even to how they behave in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/blog\/four-attachment-styles\/\">adult relationships<\/a>.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>We will cover your top questions on developing secure attachment in childhood including:<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n<ul style=\"background-color:#f0f0f0\" class=\"has-background wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>When and how does secure attachment attachment develop in childhood?<\/strong><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>What are common behaviors of caregivers with <strong>secure<\/strong><\/strong> <strong>children?<\/strong><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Is your child <strong>secure<\/strong>? Were you a <strong>secure<\/strong> child? Check these common behaviors and characteristics of <strong>secure<\/strong> children<\/strong>.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>How does <strong><strong>secure<\/strong><\/strong><\/strong> <strong>attachment affect the child?<\/strong><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>How can a child be raised to have secure attachment? <\/strong><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>What are the five conditions required for raising a child with secure attachment?<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Promoting a secure attachment style in<\/strong> childhood<\/h2>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-large is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"681\" src=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-in-Early-Childhood-1024x681.jpeg\" alt=\"Secure attachment in baby\" class=\"wp-image-9568\" style=\"width:347px;height:230px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-in-Early-Childhood-1024x681.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-in-Early-Childhood-300x199.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-in-Early-Childhood-768x511.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-in-Early-Childhood-1536x1021.jpeg 1536w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-in-Early-Childhood-1500x997.jpeg 1500w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-in-Early-Childhood-1000x665.jpeg 1000w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-in-Early-Childhood-800x532.jpeg 800w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-in-Early-Childhood-750x499.jpeg 750w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-in-Early-Childhood-617x410.jpeg 617w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-in-Early-Childhood-600x399.jpeg 600w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-in-Early-Childhood-150x100.jpeg 150w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-in-Early-Childhood-500x332.jpeg 500w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-in-Early-Childhood-400x266.jpeg 400w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-in-Early-Childhood-247x164.jpeg 247w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-in-Early-Childhood-110x73.jpeg 110w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-in-Early-Childhood.jpeg 1900w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>Secure attachment typically develops in children in the first eighteen months of life. During this formative period, a secure child\u2019s caregiver would have been both emotionally and physically available to them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>This doesn\u2019t mean that they\u2019re perfect caregivers, but that they behaved predictably towards their child and responded to them in the way that they needed when they were upset or required something. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They ebb and flow in accordance with their child\u2019s needs; at times they are close and nurturing, and on other occasions, they pull back and allow them to explore their world. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>These caregivers managed to fulfill their child\u2019s needs and not break their trust. They instilled a sense of self-confidence in their child, as well as a belief that others are innately valuable.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><em><strong>Don\u2019t know your attachment style? Then take our short 5 minute&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/attachment-style-quiz\/\">Attachment Style Quiz<\/a>&nbsp;to find out now. It\u2019s completely free.<\/strong><\/em><\/h5>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>The following are typical caregiver behaviors that promote a secure attachment style in children:<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<ul style=\"background-color:#badadd\" class=\"has-background wp-block-list\">\n<li>They are <strong>warm<\/strong>, nurturing, and attentive&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>The caregivers are <strong>attuned<\/strong> to their child\u2019s needs and wants<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Stay close to their child, but still allow them the <strong>freedom<\/strong> to explore their world<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Are <strong>reliable<\/strong> in their actions<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Focus on who their child is <strong>as a person<\/strong> rather than what they achieve<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Encourage a sense of <strong>independence<\/strong> in their child<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Mary Ainsworth and the Strange Situation experiment<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>In the <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Strange_situation#:~:text=The%20Strange%20situation%20is%20a,of%20nine%20and%2018%20months.\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>Strange Situation <\/em>experiment<\/a> in 1969, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/attachment-theory\/mary-ainsworth\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Mary Ainsworth<\/a> and colleagues observed infants&#8217; reactions to periods of separation and reunion with their mothers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They noted that there was a group of children that initially explored the room contentedly when their mother was present. When she left the room, these children became distressed and explored the room less. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>The following table contains the different attachment style names, including how they change from childhood to adulthood:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table is-style-stripes\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>Attachment Style<\/strong><\/td><td><strong>In Childhood<\/strong><\/td><td><strong>In Adulthood<\/strong><\/td><\/tr><tr><td><strong><span style=\"color:#0d7c7b\" class=\"has-inline-color\">Secure<\/span><\/strong><\/td><td><a href=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/blog\/secure-attachment-style-infants\/\"><strong><mark style=\"background-color:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);color:#0d7c7b\" class=\"has-inline-color\">Secure<\/mark><\/strong><\/a><\/td><td><a href=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/blog\/secure-attachment\/\"><span style=\"color:#0d7c7b\" class=\"has-inline-color\"><strong>Secure<\/strong><\/span><\/a><\/td><\/tr><tr><td><span class=\"has-inline-color has-black-color\">Insecure<\/span><\/td><td><mark style=\"background-color:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0)\" class=\"has-inline-color has-black-color\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/blog\/anxious-ambivalent-attachment-style\/\">Anxious-ambivalent<\/a><\/mark><\/td><td><span class=\"has-inline-color has-black-color\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/blog\/anxious-attachment\/\">Anxious-preoccupied<\/a><\/span><\/td><\/tr><tr><td>Insecure<\/td><td><a href=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/blog\/anxious-avoidant-attachment-in-children\/\">Anxious-avoidant<\/a><\/td><td><a href=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/blog\/avoidant-attachment-style\/\">Avoidant-dismissive<\/a><\/td><\/tr><tr><td>Insecure<\/td><td><a href=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/blog\/fearful-avoidant-attachment-in-childhood\/\">Fea<\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/blog\/fearful-avoidant-attachment-style\/\">rful-avoidan<\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/blog\/fearful-avoidant-attachment-in-childhood\/\">t<\/a><\/td><td><a href=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/blog\/disorganized-attachment\/\">Disorganized<\/a><\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>How does a child with secure attachment behave?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-large is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"683\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Strange-Situation-Photo-683x1024.jpeg\" alt=\"Strange Situation: How attachment develops in infancy and early childhood\" class=\"wp-image-9570\" style=\"width:341px;height:514px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Strange-Situation-Photo-683x1024.jpeg 683w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Strange-Situation-Photo-200x300.jpeg 200w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Strange-Situation-Photo-768x1152.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Strange-Situation-Photo-1024x1536.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Strange-Situation-Photo-1365x2048.jpeg 1365w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Strange-Situation-Photo-1333x2000.jpeg 1333w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Strange-Situation-Photo-1000x1500.jpeg 1000w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Strange-Situation-Photo-667x1000.jpeg 667w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Strange-Situation-Photo-800x1200.jpeg 800w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Strange-Situation-Photo-500x750.jpeg 500w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Strange-Situation-Photo-617x926.jpeg 617w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Strange-Situation-Photo-600x900.jpeg 600w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Strange-Situation-Photo-150x225.jpeg 150w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Strange-Situation-Photo-333x500.jpeg 333w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Strange-Situation-Photo-400x600.jpeg 400w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Strange-Situation-Photo-247x371.jpeg 247w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Strange-Situation-Photo-73x110.jpeg 73w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Strange-Situation-Photo-267x400.jpeg 267w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Strange-Situation-Photo-100x150.jpeg 100w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Strange-Situation-Photo.jpeg 1400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 683px) 100vw, 683px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>However, when their mother returned, they were happy to see her and approached her for comfort. The infants enjoy a soothing cuddle, but once content, they were eager to explore their environment again. These children were later categorized as <em>securely attached.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Children with a secure attachment style are comfortable in the company of others, but they typically prefer to be in the company of their caregiver. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They seek comfort from their caregiver through cues such as eye contact and cries and they look to them for support because they know that their caregiver is reliable; they are aware that they are available to them and understand their needs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Generally, a child with a secure attachment style has well-developed social skills and is not concerned by the presence of other children. They are happy to give, take, and share, and they show empathy to others when they are distressed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A securely attached child will also respond well to being disciplined \u2013 even though they may likely behave like a typical child, they still trust their caregiver to guide them in the right direction. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In time, they model their behavior on this guidance and are able to make the right choices for themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Furthermore, children with secure attachment usually have a strong sense of self and independence. Consequently, these children are confident and secure enough to explore their environment and adapt to unfamiliar situations. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This means that they are able to settle into new schools, communities, and groups without too much fear or turmoil.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Let\u2019s recap characteristics and behaviors of a child with a secure attachment style:<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n<ul style=\"background-color:#badadd\" class=\"has-background wp-block-list\">\n<li>They <strong>seek comfort<\/strong> and affection from their caregivers because they\u2019re aware that they are available to them<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Are <strong>comfortable<\/strong> <strong>around other people<\/strong>, but tend to prefer being around their caregiver<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Have strong <strong>social skills<\/strong><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Have a solid <strong>sense of self <\/strong>and a healthy sense of independence<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Are <strong>comfortable exploring<\/strong> their world and can adapt well to novel circumstances<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/attachment-style-quiz\/\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"193\" src=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/attachment-quiz-1024x193.png\" alt=\"attachment-quiz\" class=\"wp-image-9602\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/attachment-quiz-1024x193.png 1024w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/attachment-quiz-300x57.png 300w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/attachment-quiz-768x145.png 768w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/attachment-quiz-1536x289.png 1536w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/attachment-quiz-2048x386.png 2048w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/attachment-quiz-2000x377.png 2000w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/attachment-quiz-1500x283.png 1500w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/attachment-quiz-1000x188.png 1000w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/attachment-quiz-800x151.png 800w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/attachment-quiz-750x141.png 750w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/attachment-quiz-617x116.png 617w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/attachment-quiz-600x113.png 600w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/attachment-quiz-150x28.png 150w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/attachment-quiz-500x94.png 500w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/attachment-quiz-400x75.png 400w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/attachment-quiz-247x47.png 247w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/attachment-quiz-110x21.png 110w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>How can yo<\/strong>u raise a<strong> child to h<\/strong>ave<strong> secure attachment?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>There is no parenting handbook, so, at times, it can be a tricky area to negotiate. How much attention and affection are too little, and how much is smothering? Fortunately, children are born with strong survival instincts based on their inability to survive on their own and their reliance on adults for nurturance and protection. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Thus, they give out signals to notify their caregivers that they need something. How their caregiver responds to these cues from their children can make the difference between ending up with a secure or insecure attachment style.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"The 5 Primary Conditions Needed for Secure Attachment\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/1Eqnm6n8teo?start=2&#038;feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>The five conditions for raising a securely attached child<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>In order to successfully raise a securely attached child, there are five areas that a caregiver should strive to fulfill (Brown &amp; Elliott, 2016):<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>1.<\/strong> <strong>The child feels safe<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"867\" src=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-Feeling-Safe-1024x867.jpeg\" alt=\"Felt Safety - one of the 5 conditions for secure attachment style\" class=\"wp-image-9572\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-Feeling-Safe-1024x867.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-Feeling-Safe-300x254.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-Feeling-Safe-768x650.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-Feeling-Safe-1000x846.jpeg 1000w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-Feeling-Safe-800x677.jpeg 800w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-Feeling-Safe-750x635.jpeg 750w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-Feeling-Safe-617x522.jpeg 617w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-Feeling-Safe-600x508.jpeg 600w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-Feeling-Safe-150x127.jpeg 150w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-Feeling-Safe-500x423.jpeg 500w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-Feeling-Safe-400x339.jpeg 400w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-Feeling-Safe-247x209.jpeg 247w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-Feeling-Safe-110x93.jpeg 110w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-Feeling-Safe.jpeg 1400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>A child needs to feel secure and safe in their environment so as to flourish. For a baby or toddler, their caregiver is their prime source of safety. If they are around, the child will feel confident that no harm will come to them, they know that they will be fed, and kept warm. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So it\u2019s important to cater to the child\u2019s needs with a certain amount of sensitivity; they should allow them the chance to develop independence while still letting them know that they are nearby. The caregiver is the child\u2019s barrier against harm, letting them know that they are protected and loved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>2.<\/strong> <strong>The child feels seen and known<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>For a young child, their cues (cries and signals) are their outward voice to let their caregiver know what they want and need. It is, therefore, important that the caregiver interprets these cues accurately. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If the caregiver is <em>in tune<\/em> with the child\u2019s cues they will respond in the appropriate way, letting the child know that when they need something, they can signal for it and it will be given. This gives the child a sense of autonomy. As a result, their world is reliable and they can exert a certain amount of control over it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>3. The child feels comforted<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>The world can sometimes be a scary place to a small child. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Therefore, it&#8217;s essential for caregivers to be open, warm, and inviting in order to raise a securely attached child. If they experience a bump in the road of their otherwise-pleasant-day, they need to know that their caregivers will be there to help them soothe away their sadness and distress. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In time, the child learns to recognize this as the norm and as they grow up, they use their caregiver\u2019s actions as the template for managing their own upsets.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-large is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1400\" height=\"1399\" src=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-Mother-Smiling-at-Baby-edited.jpeg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-9574\" style=\"width:315px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-Mother-Smiling-at-Baby-edited.jpeg 1400w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-Mother-Smiling-at-Baby-edited-300x300.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-Mother-Smiling-at-Baby-edited-1024x1024.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-Mother-Smiling-at-Baby-edited-150x150.jpeg 150w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-Mother-Smiling-at-Baby-edited-768x767.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-Mother-Smiling-at-Baby-edited-170x170.jpeg 170w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-Mother-Smiling-at-Baby-edited-1000x1000.jpeg 1000w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-Mother-Smiling-at-Baby-edited-800x799.jpeg 800w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-Mother-Smiling-at-Baby-edited-750x750.jpeg 750w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-Mother-Smiling-at-Baby-edited-617x617.jpeg 617w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-Mother-Smiling-at-Baby-edited-600x600.jpeg 600w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-Mother-Smiling-at-Baby-edited-500x500.jpeg 500w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-Mother-Smiling-at-Baby-edited-400x400.jpeg 400w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-Mother-Smiling-at-Baby-edited-247x247.jpeg 247w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Secure-Attachment-Style-Mother-Smiling-at-Baby-edited-110x110.jpeg 110w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1400px) 100vw, 1400px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>4.<\/strong> <strong>The child feels valued<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>The process of developing healthy self-esteem and value for who we are as a person starts in infancy. Caregivers should aim to express happiness and pride over who their child <em>is <\/em>rather than over what the child <em>does. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The child can then start to realize that they are valuable \u2013 unconditionally &#8211; from what they achieve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>5.<\/strong> <strong>The child feels support for being their best self<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>Lastly, a child should feel supported and encouraged to contentedly explore their environment. To achieve this, a caregiver needs to believe in their child\u2019s ability, as well as stay in proximity to them lest anything go wrong; they\u2019re allowing them to grow while observing from a safe distance. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Doing so will allow the child to develop a sense of independence and autonomy to explore their world and develop a strong sense of self.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Further Reading<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>This article is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to knowing how to raise a child with a secure attachment. If you\u2019re interested in understanding more, then check out our previous articles that cover more on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/blog\/secure-attachment\/\">secure attachment in adult relationships<\/a>, secure <a href=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/blog\/casual-sex-and-attachment-styles\/\">attachment in the bedroom<\/a> and secure <a href=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/blog\/attachment-in-the-workplace\/\">attachment in the workplace<\/a>.&nbsp; <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We also recommend the excellent book <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Importance-Love-Rays-Developing-Attachment\/dp\/057875634X\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">The Importance of Love Rays<\/a> by attachment specialist <a href=\"https:\/\/www.paulasacks.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Paula Sacks<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Sources:<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Bowlby, J. (2012). <a href=\"https:\/\/www.cambridge.org\/core\/journals\/the-british-journal-of-psychiatry\/article\/abs\/a-secure-base-clinical-applications-of-attachment-theory-by-john-bowlby-london-routledge-1988-180-pp-895-pb\/EFFF21E590D34C1ADFD19FEE28E56F1E\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">A Secure Base: Clinical Applications of Attachment Theory<\/a>. London: Routledge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Brown, D. P., Elliott, D. S. (2016). <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Attachment-Disturbances-Adults-Treatment-Comprehensive-ebook\/dp\/B016APOD0G\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Attachment Disturbances in Adults: Treatment for Comprehensive Repair<\/a>. New York: W.W. Norton.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Salter, M.D., Ainsworth, M.C., Blehar, E.W., Wall, S.N. (2015). <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Patterns-Attachment-Psychological-Strange-Situation\/dp\/0898594618\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Patterns of Attachment: A Psychological Study of the Strange Situation<\/a>. New York: Taylor &amp; Francis.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A secure attachment style forms through a special type of bond between children and their caregivers. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":9584,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[15,88],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9427","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-attachment-theory","category-childhood-development"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.1.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Secure Attachment in Babies and Toddlers: Signs and Development<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"We will answer: What are behaviors that promote a secure attachment style in children? 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