{"id":34846,"date":"2023-08-17T16:52:58","date_gmt":"2023-08-17T14:52:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/?page_id=34846"},"modified":"2025-06-12T14:47:01","modified_gmt":"2025-06-12T12:47:01","slug":"affective-touch","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/love\/affective-touch\/","title":{"rendered":"Affective Touch"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<div class=\"wp-block-group mw-900 mb-5\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\">All humans need affectionate touch. It\u2019s a form of comfort right from birth\u2014a way for caregivers to show their love for their newborn baby.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\">As we age, affectionate touch continues to be vital for our well-being: It helps us communicate with others, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/blog\/attachment-styles-and-stress-responses\/\">regulate our stress<\/a>, sleep well, fight off infections, and soothe aches and pains.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\">Yet, some people feel more comfortable with physical touch than others, and this can depend on our <a href=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/blog\/four-attachment-styles\/\">attachment style<\/a>. For <a href=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/anxious-attachment-relationships\/\">anxious attachers<\/a>, touch often means reassurance. But for people with an <a href=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/blog\/avoidant-attachment-style\/\">avoidant<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/blog\/disorganized-attachment\/\">disorganized attachment style<\/a>, physical touch may feel uncomfortable and even stress-inducing.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\">To answer all of your questions on attachment and physical touch, this article will cover:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group mw-550 p-3 has-background\" style=\"background-color:#eae2f94d\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<ul class=\"mb-0 wp-block-list\">\n<li>The science behind affectionate touch<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>What happens when we don\u2019t receive enough touch<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>How our attachment styles influence our desire for physical touch<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Ways to maintain healthy levels of affectionate touch in our relationships<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group mw-100 py-4 mb-5 has-background\" style=\"background-color:#ffe7cf4d\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center mb-4 has-text-color\" style=\"color:#333840\">Do you know your attachment style?<br>Take our attachment quiz and find out now &#8211; fast, easy, free.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"row justify-content-center\">\n<a onclick=\"ga('send', 'event', {  'eventCategory': 'Hero Button',  'eventAction': 'Start Quiz'});\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/quiz.attachmentproject.com\/\" class=\"button-2 text-center\" rel=\"noopener\">Start Quiz<\/a>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group mw-1200 mb-5\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-group row justify-content-center align-items-center is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-ad2f72ca wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-group col-md-5 col-sm-8 col-10 mb-md-0 mb-4\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large mb-0\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"679\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-860-679x1024.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-34862\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-860-679x1024.png 679w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-860-199x300.png 199w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-860-768x1158.png 768w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-860-663x1000.png 663w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-860-800x1207.png 800w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-860-497x750.png 497w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-860-617x931.png 617w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-860-600x905.png 600w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-860-150x226.png 150w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-860-331x500.png 331w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-860-400x603.png 400w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-860-247x373.png 247w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-860-73x110.png 73w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-860.png 832w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 679px) 100vw, 679px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group col-md-7 col-sm-10 col-12\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading mb-4 header-with-line-lg has-text-color\" style=\"color:#917dbf\">The Science Behind Affectionate Touch<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>As soon as we\u2019re born, we crave affectionate touch. This is evident in the \u201cgolden hour\u201d when a baby is first born. Golden hour (also known as \u201ckangaroo care\u201d) refers to the initial 60 minutes of skin-to-skin contact between a mother and her newborn baby. Studies show that this contact increases the chances of breastfeeding success, boosts the relationship between mum and baby, helps to regulate the infant\u2019s body temperature, and decreases mum\u2019s stress levels.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Affectionate touch continues to be important as a baby grows. Babies often seek comfort from their caregivers, at first through crying and then by reaching out. Then, as they grow from baby to toddler, we often witness children seeking solace in their trusted caregiver in unfamiliar situations or when they hurt themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Benefits of Affectionate Touch for Adults<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>So, we can see how important affectionate touch is for children. But how about adults? <strong>Research shows that physical touch has many important functions in adulthood, including:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group mw-100 p-3 mb-4 has-background\" style=\"background-color:#eae2f94d\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<p><strong>Enhancing our Interactions With Others:<\/strong> Human touch is an important way we interact with one another\u2014we hug a loved one, shake hands with a new acquaintance, and kiss our partner. Physical touch is how we bond.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Regulating Stress:<\/strong> Skin is the largest organ in our bodies, and it\u2019s highly sensitive\u2014it sends \u201cgood\u201d and \u201cbad\u201d sensations to our brains. When we receive affectionate touch, our brain releases the \u201chappy hormone\u2019 oxytocin, which improves our mood and strengthens our bond with that person, which in turn reduces our stress levels.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Boosting Immune Function:<\/strong> The stress relief affectionate touch provides has a protective effect against illnesses like respiratory infections and can lower our heart rate and blood pressure. Positive touch also boosts serotonin release, which is important for healthy immune function.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Aiding Sleep:<\/strong> Touch shortly before or during sleep improves the quality of our slumber and helps us feel happier and calmer the following morning. Evidence suggests physical touch also reduces the likelihood of spousal arguments the following day.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"mb-0\"><strong>Reducing Pain:<\/strong> Positive physical touch, such as a massage or simply holding hands, is extremely effective at relieving mild physical pain and soothing aches like back pain and headaches.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"mb-md-3 mb-0\">As we can see, we never lose the need for affectionate touch. But what happens when we don\u2019t receive enough of this all-important form of affection?<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group mw-1200 mb-5\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-group row justify-content-md-between justify-content-center align-items-center is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-ad2f72ca wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-group col-md-7 col-sm-10 col-12 order-md-1 order-2\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading mb-4 header-with-line-sm mw-600 ml-0 has-text-color\" style=\"color:#604c8d\">What Happens When We Don\u2019t Receive Enough Touch?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Not receiving enough touch can have profound effects on our physical and emotional well-being.<\/strong> However, the effects of touch deprivation differ in childhood and adulthood. Let\u2019s consider each in turn.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading mt-5 mb-3 has-text-color\" style=\"color:#513d62\">Touch Deprivation in Childhood<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Research shows that babies who don\u2019t receive kangaroo care after birth tend to have weaker immune systems, sleep problems, and poorer emotional regulation and self-control in adulthood. Not experiencing this initial skin-to-skin bonding can also have a significant impact on maternal attachment, <strong>possibly even leading to an insecure bond between mum and baby later down the line<\/strong>.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading mt-5 mb-3 has-text-color\" style=\"color:#513d62\">Touch Deprivation in Adulthood<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>If we don\u2019t receive enough touch as adults, we can become stressed, depressed, or anxious\u2014experts call this \u201ctouch starvation.\u201d<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When a lack of touch triggers stress, our bodies release the stress hormone cortisol, which increases our heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing rate, and makes our muscles tense up. All of these effects can worsen our immune and digestive systems, which can have a knock-on effect on our sleep and increase our risk of getting infections and other illnesses.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If touch starvation continues for a long time, we may develop post-traumatic stress disorder.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group col-lg-4 col-md-5 col-sm-8 col-10 mb-md-0 mb-4 order-md-2 order-1\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full mb-0\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"475\" height=\"766\" src=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-1145-2.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-34871\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-1145-2.png 475w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-1145-2-186x300.png 186w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-1145-2-465x750.png 465w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-1145-2-150x242.png 150w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-1145-2-310x500.png 310w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-1145-2-400x645.png 400w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-1145-2-247x398.png 247w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-1145-2-68x110.png 68w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 475px) 100vw, 475px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group mw-900 mb-5 position-relative\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity separator\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center mb-4 mw-600 has-text-color\" style=\"color:#917dbf\">Attachment and Affectionate Touch<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\">From our experiences with our primary caregiver, we develop a set of beliefs about ourselves and others, which can influence how we feel about touch.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\">For example, when we form a healthy attachment, we generally want to stay close to our caregivers, as they provide security and support. As a result, we learn to see others as responsive and dependable, which makes emotional and physical closeness more comfortable. <strong>It\u2019s, therefore, not altogether surprising that research shows that secure attachment is associated with giving, seeking, and appreciating touch from a romantic partner.<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\">However, if our relationship with our caregiver was unhealthy when we were a child, this can influence how comfortable we feel with affectionate touch and how much we wish to receive.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group mw-1200 mb-5 position-relative\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-group row justify-content-md-around justify-content-center align-items-center is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-ad2f72ca wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-group col-md-8 col-sm-10 col-12\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading mb-4 header-with-line-sm has-text-color\" style=\"color:#604c8d\">Avoidant Attachment and Affectionate Touch<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Avoidant attachment is characterized by discomfort with closeness and a fear of intimacy, often arising when the caregiver doesn\u2019t consistently meet their child\u2019s needs. As a result, the child becomes distrustful towards their caregiver and, in adolescence and adulthood, believes that other people are untrustworthy.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The question is, does an avoidant attacher\u2019s fear of closeness impact their desire for affectionate touch? In short: yes. Experts suggest that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/avoidant-attachment-relationships\/\">avoidant attachers in a relationship<\/a> tend to downplay their attachment needs, believing that intimacy is less important than independence and autonomy. As a fundamental attachment need is affectionate touch, avoidant attachers often dismiss this, too.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Research suggests that avoidant attachment is associated with negative feelings towards physical touch and more touch avoidance and aversion than other attachment styles, especially in anxiety-provoking situations. Consequently, <strong>avoidant attachers tend to offer their romantic partners less physical touch when they need support and express negative attitudes toward holding hands and cuddling<\/strong>. They also touch their partner less often than people with a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/blog\/secure-attachment\/\">secure attachment<\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Furthermore, avoidant attachers report higher levels of pain related to touch compared to securely and anxiously attached individuals. <strong>This indicates that avoidant attachers don\u2019t only find touch uncomfortable, they may find it painful.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group col-lg-3 col-md-4 d-md-block d-none\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\"><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\r\n<img decoding=\"async\" id=\"block_e61414c6ac3bacac10bbe547b25eb624\" class=\"d-md-inline-block d-none\" alt=\"\"\r\n     src=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-1102-1.png\"\r\n     style=\"max-width:200px;position: absolute; top:rem; bottom:9rem; left:rem; right:0rem; z-index: -1;\">\r\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group mw-1200 mb-5 position-relative\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-group row justify-content-md-around justify-content-center align-items-center is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-ad2f72ca wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-group col-lg-3 col-md-4 d-md-block d-none\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\"><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group col-md-8 col-sm-10 col-12\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading mb-4 header-with-line-sm has-text-color\" style=\"color:#604c8d\">Anxious Attachment and Affectionate Touch<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Anxious attachers typically don\u2019t feel \u201cgood enough\u201d or worthy of care and affection. These beliefs often stem from feeling like their caregivers abandoned them (emotionally, physically, or both) in early life. The perception of inconsistent, unreliable care anxious attachers receive teaches them that others won\u2019t support them when they need them. Anxious attachers often feel worried about closeness and intimacy in adult relationships due to these difficult early experiences. However, unlike avoidant attachers, this discomfort typically motivates those with an <a href=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/anxious-attachment-relationships\/\">anxious attachment style in relationship<\/a> to seek physical touch, not avoid it.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Attachment anxiety is associated with feelings of touch deprivation, even when receiving healthy amounts of affectionate touch.<\/strong> Researchers suggest that anxious attachers have a strong desire for closeness because of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/psychology\/abandonment-issues\/\">fears of abandonment<\/a> and rejection. As a result, touch becomes an important form of reassurance, causing them to both seek and give high levels of affection in romantic relationships.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\r\n<img decoding=\"async\" id=\"block_081a52858069972578356c731ed7b693\" class=\"d-md-inline-block d-none\" alt=\"\"\r\n     src=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-1101-1.png\"\r\n     style=\"max-width:180px;position: absolute; top:10rem; bottom:rem; left:0rem; right:rem; z-index: -1;\">\r\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group mw-1200 mb-5 position-relative\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-group row justify-content-md-around justify-content-center align-items-center is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-ad2f72ca wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-group col-md-8 col-sm-10 col-12\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading mb-4 header-with-line-sm has-text-color\" style=\"color:#604c8d\">Disorganized Attachment and Affectionate Touch<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Disorganized attachment manifests when caregivers consistently don\u2019t respond to their child\u2019s distress or meet their emotional needs with derision, anger, or abuse. The caregiver becomes a source of fear for the child, who, in turn, develops the belief that the world (and the people in it) are unsafe.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Studies show that adults with a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/disorganized-attachment-relationships\/\">disorganized attachment style in relationships<\/a> perceive all forms of touch as unpleasant, but prefer non-affectionate touch. <strong>As a disorganized attacher\u2019s early experiences with touch may be stressful, this could indicate that they find all forms of physical touch threatening, which may make it feel unpleasant.<\/strong> However, we need more research on this relationship to understand this fully.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group col-lg-3 col-md-4 d-md-block d-none\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\"><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group mw-900 mb-5 position-relative\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity separator\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center mb-4 has-text-color\" style=\"color:#917dbf\">Four Ways to Maintain Healthy Levels of Touch in Relationships<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\">Unhealthy early relationships can create complicated feelings toward touch, which can impact our romantic relationships in adulthood. If this is the case for you, try the four ways to maintain healthy levels of touch listed below:<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group mw-1200 mb-5 position-relative\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-group row justify-content-md-around justify-content-center align-items-center is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-ad2f72ca wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-group col-md-7 col-sm-10 col-12\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading mb-4 has-text-color\" style=\"color:#513d62\">1. Understand Your Partner\u2019s Attachment Style<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>We have seen throughout this article that our attachment style significantly impacts how we perceive and experience physical touch. Therefore, to maintain healthy levels of touch in a relationship, we must understand our partner\u2019s attachment style.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"mb-md-3 mb-0\">By doing this, we can recognize how affectionate touch feels for them. For example, if your partner is anxiously attached, reading up on how this attachment style formed may help you understand why touch means so much to them. In contrast, if your partner doesn\u2019t give or seek much physical touch, this may be due to their avoidant or disorganized attachment style.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group col-lg-3 col-md-4 d-md-block d-none\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\"><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group mw-1200 mb-5 position-relative\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-group row justify-content-md-around justify-content-center align-items-center is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-ad2f72ca wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-group col-lg-4 col-md-5 col-sm-6 col-8 mb-md-0 mb-4\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full mb-0\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"470\" height=\"789\" src=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-859.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-34917\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-859.png 470w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-859-179x300.png 179w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-859-447x750.png 447w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-859-150x252.png 150w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-859-298x500.png 298w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-859-400x671.png 400w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-859-247x415.png 247w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-859-66x110.png 66w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 470px) 100vw, 470px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group col-md-7 col-sm-10 col-12\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading mb-4 has-text-color\" style=\"color:#513d62\">2. Communicate With Your Partner<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Ask your partner how they feel about touch and how they like to receive love. An anxious attacher may want more physical touch, whereas an avoidant partner may prefer acts of service (such as cooking their favorite meal) or quality time, like watching a movie together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s important to speak about touch openly and non-judgmentally with your insecurely attached partner so that you can agree on a level of affectionate touch that works for both of you. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/blog\/communicate-with-avoidant-partner\/\">Communicating with your avoidant partner<\/a>, or anxious, can make you both feel safer in the relationship, helping to build trust.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading mb-4 mt-5 has-text-color\" style=\"color:#513d62\">3. Build Your Tolerance to Touch Over Time<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>If you have a disorganized or avoidant attachment style, chances are, affectionate touch feels unpleasant. If you\u2019re in a relationship with an anxious attacher, trying to find the right level of affectionate touch may feel like a constant battle. So, what can you do?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Alongside learning about your partner\u2019s attachment style and communicating openly about your experiences of touch, you can build your tolerance to touch over time. You could start by holding hands and maintaining eye contact before moving on to more intense forms of affectionate touch like cuddling and initiating affectionate touch.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But be patient and gentle with yourself. If any form of affectionate touch feels too much right now, you can start by testing it out on yourself. For example, by massaging moisturizer into your arms or slowly moving your fingertips over your face.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group mw-1200 mb-5 position-relative\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-group row justify-content-md-around justify-content-center align-items-center is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-ad2f72ca wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-group col-md-8 col-sm-10 col-12\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading mb-4 has-text-color\" style=\"color:#513d62\">4. Learn Self-Regulation Techniques<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Learning self-regulation techniques can help calm you, regardless of your attachment style. If you\u2019re an avoidant or disorganized attacher, you can use self-regulation techniques to calm yourself when you feel triggered by affectionate touch. And if you\u2019re anxiously attached, self-regulation strategies can come in handy when you feel like your partner isn\u2019t giving you enough affection.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Techniques such as mindfulness, deep breathing, meditation, and somatic shaking can help to calm the body in moments when you feel yourself getting triggered.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group col-lg-3 col-md-4 d-md-block d-none\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\"><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group mw-100 py-md-5 py-4 mb-4 has-background\" style=\"background-color:#eae2f966\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-group mw-1200 position-relative\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-group row justify-content-center align-items-center is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-ad2f72ca wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-group col-lg-4 col-md-5 col-sm-8 col-10 mb-md-0 mb-4\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full mb-0\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"624\" height=\"673\" src=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-327-min-1.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-34920\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-327-min-1.png 624w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-327-min-1-278x300.png 278w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-327-min-1-617x665.png 617w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-327-min-1-600x647.png 600w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-327-min-1-150x162.png 150w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-327-min-1-464x500.png 464w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-327-min-1-400x431.png 400w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-327-min-1-247x266.png 247w, https:\/\/www.attachmentproject.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Group-327-min-1-102x110.png 102w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 624px) 100vw, 624px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group col-md-7 col-sm-10 col-12\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading mb-4 header-with-line-lg has-text-color\" style=\"color:#917dbf\">Final Words on Attachment and Affectionate Touch<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Touch feels different for everyone. Some people can\u2019t get enough, while others would rather go without. While many factors may influence our preferences, research suggests that our early attachment experiences can be a significant determining factor.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Linking our early relationships with our feelings towards touch can help us understand our responses to touch in our adult relationships. It may also allow you to recognize if you and your partner\u2019s touch preferences don\u2019t always align.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can achieve a healthy balance of touch in your relationship by understanding each other\u2019s needs, communicating your preferences, and learning tools to regulate yourself when triggered. If you have a disorganized or avoidant attachment style, building up your tolerance to touch can also help you give and receive affectionate touch in your relationship.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"mb-0\">It\u2019s important to remember that our feelings towards touch are deeply personal and won\u2019t change overnight. So remember to treat yourself with kindness, compassion, and patience.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group mw-1000\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<div class=\"block-wrapper py-4 \" id=\"block_2ec87af2512558ecb3af97ddae01180f\" style=\" max-width: px;\">\n    <div class=\"d-flex justify-content-center\">\n        <button class=\"references-btn\" type=\"button\" data-toggle=\"collapse\"\n                data-target=\"#block_2ec87af2512558ecb3af97ddae01180f-references-collapse\" aria-expanded=\"false\" aria-controls=\"block_2ec87af2512558ecb3af97ddae01180f-references-collapse\">\n            References\n        <\/button>\n    <\/div>\n    <div class=\"references-text collapse mt-3\" id=\"block_2ec87af2512558ecb3af97ddae01180f-references-collapse\">\n        <p style=\"text-align: center;\">Benisek, A. (2021, April 19). Touch Starvation: What to know. WebMD.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Cohut, M. (2018, September 21). Hugs and kisses: The health impact of affective touch. MedicalNewsToday.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Debrot, A., Stellar, J. E., MacDonald, G., Keltner, D., &amp; Impett, E. A. (2020). Is touch in romantic relationships universally beneficial for Psychological Well-Being? The role of attachment avoidance. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 47(10), 1495\u20131509<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Ellingsen, D. M., Leknes, S., L\u00f8seth, G., Wessberg, J., &amp; Olausson, H. (2016). The Neurobiology Shaping Affective Touch: Expectation, Motivation, and Meaning in the Multisensory Context. Frontiers in psychology, 6, 1986.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Keizer, A., Heijman, J. O., &amp; Dijkerman, H. C. (2022). Do transdiagnostic factors influence affective touch perception in psychiatric populations? Current Opinion in Behavioral Sciences, 43, 125\u2013130.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Kurt, F., K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcko\u011flu, S., \u00d6zdemir, A. A., &amp; Ozcan, Z. (2020). The effect of kangaroo care on maternal attachment in preterm infants. PubMed, 23(1), 26\u201332<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Krah\u00e9, C., Drabek, M. M., Paloyelis, Y., &amp; Fotopoulou, A. (2016). Affective touch and attachment style modulate pain: a laser-evoked potentials study. Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B, 371(1708), 20160009..<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Neczypor, J. L., &amp; Holley, S. L. (2017). Providing Evidence-Based care during the golden hour. Nursing for Women\u2019s Health, 21(6), 462\u2013472.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Roberts, N. A., Burleson, M. H., Pituch, K., Flores, M., Woodward, C., Shahid, S., Todd, M., &amp; Davis, M. C. (2022). Affective Experience and Regulation via Sleep, Touch, and &#8220;Sleep-Touch&#8221; Among Couples. Affective science, 3(2), 353\u2013369.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Spitoni, G. F., Zingaretti, P., Giovanardi, G., Antonucci, G., Galati, G., Lingiardi, V., Cruciani, G., Titone, G., &amp; Boccia, M. (2020). Disorganized Attachment pattern affects the perception of Affective Touch. Scientific Reports, 10(1).<\/p>\n    <\/div>\n<\/div>\n<style>\n    #block_2ec87af2512558ecb3af97ddae01180f p, #block_2ec87af2512558ecb3af97ddae01180f li, a{\n        color:;\n    }\n\n    #block_2ec87af2512558ecb3af97ddae01180f ul li, #block_2ec87af2512558ecb3af97ddae01180f ol li {\n        margin-bottom: 10px;\n    }\n\n    #block_2ec87af2512558ecb3af97ddae01180f ul li:last-child {\n        margin-bottom: 0;\n    }\n\n    #block_2ec87af2512558ecb3af97ddae01180f    .references-btn {\n        color: #333840;\n        background: #c3aef0 !important;\n        border-radius: 15px !important;\n        font-family: \"Family\", sans-serif;\n        font-size: 30px !important;\n        padding:  0px 28px!important;\n        font-weight: 700 !important;\n        height: 52px;\n        display: flex;\n        align-items: center;\n    }\n\n    #block_2ec87af2512558ecb3af97ddae01180f    .references-btn:focus {\n        border:none;\n        outline: 0;\n    }\n<\/style><\/div><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>All humans need affectionate touch. It\u2019s a form of comfort right from birth\u2014a way for caregivers to show their love for their newborn baby.&nbsp; As we age, affectionate touch continues to be vital for our well-being: It helps us communicate with others, regulate our stress, sleep well, fight off infections, and soothe aches and pains.\u00a0 [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":0,"parent":23220,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-34846","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.1.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Affective Touch and Attachment - Attachment Project<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Some people feel more comfortable with physical touch than others, and this can depend on our attachment style. 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