Glimmers: Micro-Moments of Safety

Do you notice your sigh of relief when you take that first sip of morning coffee? How about when your dog greets you at the door after a long day of work, or when you finally settle in for the night with your feet up knowing there are no more jobs to do today?

We know instinctively that these moments feel relaxing, but they actually play a significant role in soothing stressed out nervous systems – beyond just being enjoyable. Deb Dana, a licensed clinical social worker and polyvagal theory expert, calls these moments “glimmers“¹. Glimmers signal safety to your nervous system, acting opposite to triggers.

Understanding glimmers can help you to tap into your own sense of safety. In this article, we’ll explore the scientific basis of glimmers, how they relate to polyvagal theory, and how you can use your own glimmers to induce feelings of peace.

What Are Glimmers? Understanding These Moments of Safety

If triggers are cues that tell your body you’re in danger, you can think of glimmers as the opposite: cues that tell your body you’re safe. According to polyvagal theory, we need these safety cues in order to tell our autonomic nervous system that we can safely relax – the absence of danger cues, or triggers, isn’t enough.

DISCOVER YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE

Glimmers aren’t just any positive experience, and we can’t choose what becomes a glimmer for us. Rather, glimmers are your brain’s learned associations. If you repeatedly experience the same events or sensations during times you were safe, your nervous system begins to detect these sensations as signs of safety.

For example, that moment you put your feet up at the end of the day could become a glimmer because it’s associated with feeling peaceful, warm, and free from daily stressors.

Glimmers Examples: What Do They Look Like in Daily Life?

Anything that signals safety to your nervous system can become a glimmer. Examples include:

• Sensory glimmers: warm sun on your skin, your favorite song, the taste of comfort food
• Relational glimmers: a genuine smile from a stranger, a supportive text, seeing a familiar person
• Environmental glimmers: a familiar place, a cozy corner, relaxing nature sounds
• Internal glimmers: taking a deep satisfying breath, feeling the body release tension, a feeling of “all is well”

The Science Behind Glimmers: Polyvagal Theory Explained

Polyvagal theory was introduced by Dr. Stephen Porges in 1995². Polyvagal theory suggests that we have 3 nervous system states:

1. Safe and social (the ventral vagal complex)
2. Fight or flight (the sympathetic nervous system)
3. Shutdown/freeze (the dorsal vagal state)

To move between states, your body uses neuroception, which is like an unconscious surveillance system that scans for signs of safety or danger. When your nervous system detects glimmers, it acts as a signal to activate the ventral vagal complex and move into the safe and social state.

Glimmers and the Ventral Vagal State

The ventral vagal state is where we are when we feel relaxed, social, and focused. In this state, our heart rate slows and adapts to our environment easier, our muscles relax, and we look and feel more open.

When our brains are focused on survival, it’s difficult to think critically, engage emotional regulation strategies, and form secure attachments with others. This is why the safe, ventral vagal state is associated with sociability and more secure relationships².

Glimmers and Triggers: Understanding the Difference

The Subjective Nature of Glimmers and Triggers

No two people have had the exact same experiences of safety and danger. Something that is a glimmer for you might not be a glimmer for somebody else, or it might even be someone else’s trigger. For example, for some people, the sound of somebody arriving home can signal imminent danger and trigger fight or flight. For others, the sound of somebody arriving home can signal the return of a protective or loving figure and become a glimmer.

By the same logic, your glimmers (and triggers) can change. In the above example, if you spend a long time living with a loving and validating partner, you might start to associate the sound of somebody coming home with safety instead of danger – what once was a trigger can eventually become a glimmer.

Glimmers and Attachment

In an experiment published in 2019, 6 and 7-year-olds found that children with secure attachment styles showed increased vagal augmentation, indicating a lower response to threat, than children with insecure attachment styles³.

Interestingly, whether children had secure or insecure attachment styles, exposing them to subliminal images representing secure attachments also decreased their threat response. In other words, sparking the idea of attachment security – even unconsciously – made children feel safer. This representation of attachment security could be considered a glimmer.

DISCOVER YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE

Building New Glimmer Pathways Through Earned Security

If children with insecure attachment styles can still experience attachment-related glimmers, then it’s possible that this applies to adults too. To find attachment-related glimmers, try thinking of relationships that do feel safe and secure to you – if you can’t think of any, you could try an exercise like the Ideal Parent Figure.

The finding that attachment security also provides a sense of safety in children could suggest that the same applies in adulthood. If this is the case, then perhaps an earned secure attachment could provide the same benefits. Building attachment security in adulthood is possible with time, effort, and positive experiences.

How to Find Glimmers: Practical Strategies for Noticing Safety

The neuroception of glimmers and triggers is usually unconscious, but according to Deb Dana, bringing attention to your glimmers can tip your nervous system towards its state of safety. To be able to do this, first we need to know what our glimmers are.

Spend some time thinking about what tangible experiences make you feel safe – it could be helpful to keep a “glimmer diary” and make a note of what you experience during feelings of safety in the present, then look for patterns.

Mindfulness helps us to pay attention to the present moment, so practicing this skill could help you to consciously notice your glimmers. Looking for certain cues effectively trains your brain to find them, so the more you notice your glimmers in the present, the easier it becomes⁴.

Creating Glimmer-Rich Environments

As well as learning to notice our glimmers, we can also make use of them by creating them. Remember, we can’t choose what our glimmers are, but when we know what they are we can intentionally surround ourselves with them. For example, if one of your glimmers is your morning coffee, you could keep something coffee-scented (or even coffee itself) in your bag to remind you of the sense of safety it brings.

BUILD EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE

Conclusion

We need lots more research on glimmers to make full use of their potential, but their role in polyvagal theory could help us to understand how we can use positive experiences to boost our sense of safety and resilience.

Attachment security, even in the form of attachment-related glimmers when your attachment style is insecure, could help to strengthen the ventral-vagal state. This would make sense, as a felt sense of a secure base is a key factor in secure attachments.

Do you have a secure attachment style? Find out with our free, easy attachment quiz.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the difference between glimmers and triggers?

Glimmers and triggers both cue physiological stress-related reactions, except where triggers increase stress, glimmers decrease stress and induce a sense of safety.

Who coined the term glimmers?

“Glimmers” was coined by clinical social worker Deb Dana.

How do glimmers relate to polyvagal theory?

In polyvagal theory, glimmers move the nervous system towards the safe and social ventral-vagal state.

How do glimmers work?

Glimmers work by signalling to our brains that we are safe, because our brains have learned that our glimmers have indicated safety in the past.

Why don’t I notice glimmers even when good things happen?

Everybody has different glimmers, and the good things you are trying to link to glimmers might not be your glimmers after all. You can practice noticing glimmers through a glimmer journal or mindfulness. If you don’t feel that you ever experience a sense of safety, you may be stuck in one of the two danger states – a mental health practitioner can help you to navigate this and restore balance to your nervous system.

References

1. Dana D. The Polyvagal theory in therapy: engaging the rhythm of regulation (Norton series on interpersonal neurobiology). WW Norton & Company; 2018 Jun 12.
2. Porges SW. Polyvagal Theory: Current Status, Clinical Applications, and Future Directions. Clinical Neuropsychiatry. 2025 Jun;22(3):169.
3. Stupica B, Brett BE, Woodhouse SS, Cassidy J. Attachment security priming decreases children’s physiological response to threat. Child development. 2019 Jul;90(4):1254-71.
4. Kok P, Jehee JF, De Lange FP. Less is more: expectation sharpens representations in the primary visual cortex. Neuron. 2012 Jul 26;75(2):265-70.